I think we all have our demons hidden inside of us and the reasons we like to eat, many factors contribute, such as, stress, anger, sadness, loneliness and boredom' those are just to name a few. I know there are many more reasons out there and that we all have our reasons why we got the way we were are.
I DID this to myself, whether I want to admit it or not, I've come to realize that I started gaining weight when I was fairly young, I would sneak extra snacks after school and sneak in a slice of bread or some cheese or something between meals, I think a lot of it had to do with how mean kids in school were, but I can't lay the blame fully on them, I was somewhat of an outcast, there weren't a whole lot of kids with single parents back when I was in elementary school and I was one of the few, I grew up without my father because he was shot and killed during a robbery incident at his brothers house, so since the age of 5 1/2, it was just mom and me, and I survived, sometimes not very well, but here I am today telling my story to you day after day.
In me revealing my story to you, the reader, you will get to know my ins and outs and some of my quirks and my annoyances, but above all, I want you to follow my weight loss, this journey of self discovery I'm on, and to possibly be inspired to start your own journey...I know there are so many people out there, both big and small who want to better their lives in one way or another, I happened to choose my health, but I welcome anyone to tell me what they would like to improve upon. I would love to help in any way possible, help find resources or just be a kind listening ear. Just remember that I'm new to this too and we can go through these journeys together or you can just watch and follow mine, wishing me luck every now and then.
Friday, May 15, 2009
The Biggest Loser
I've been a fan of the show 'The Biggest Loser' and when they had open auditions for season 8, I jumped at the chance of a lifetime to go and try out. My best friend Liz went to the Louisville, Indiana audition with me, we made the long drive there and then got up after only a few hours of sleep and went and sat in the cold with other people who were also trying out, we just happened to get in line right behind this very nice couple (Jen and Rick) and immediately hit it off with them, we sat there and talked to each other for hours while waiting for the talent agents to get there and start calling groups of eager BL fans for auditions. When it was finally our turn, we went in with a group of ten people and had an open chat, giving our opinions on what we thought of the weight gain of Jessica Simpson and how we thought she felt and other questions, among which, one was 'do you feel that overweight people are discriminated against in public?' a few other questions followed and the agent just sat there and listened to the group talk and then when our 7 minutes were up, we were all rushed out and the next group was called in; that was it, that was what we drove so far for, and then the waiting started, the agents told us that if we got a call back, it would be withing the next 4-5 days, waiting was horrible, and it was such a let down to not get that call...but alas, I was going to try out again!! I just could not take that I was not right for the show, so I talked to my husband and I decided that I was going to drive to Nashville, TN and try out again to get on the show that I loved so much, I wanted to change my life and I wanted to the help that they gave on the show and they had great support of other people who were on the show. I left at around 1 am to go to Nashville and made the drive by myself and when i got there i was so confused as to where the beginning of the line was, I was snapped at by a such a rude woman who obviously thought that she was better then everyone else there, she also snapped on other people, like the girl who got in line behind me, she was also confused as to where the end of the line was, but we sat there and talked and then it started to rain, that sucked!! I had no umbrella and no hood on my jacket or anything, the kind woman in front of me shared her umbrella with me and we sat and talked about our lives and what we did in our free time, it was a good time, I really enjoyed getting to know people who had the same struggles that I did. But once again, I got no call back and I was devastated, I cried myself to sleep a few nights and would just break out in tears because, once again;I had been rejected....
After the rejection of TBL, I found comfort in others who had also been rejected, Christine who was on my facebook account as an acquaintance has now become such a dear friend, she has also went through the rejection of being on TBL, although, she made it farther in the process then Jen or myself did, she got a call back interview and it seemed to be the most stressful time for her just waiting to see if she was going to be picked to make it on the show, she waited and waited and waited...it was so hard when she didn't get the call to be on the show, the devastation hit hard, not only her, but all of us who had tried out and wished more then anything to make it on the show.
Since my rejection of not making it on the show, I decided that I had to take control of my own life and make my own decisions about getting healthy. I started working out 3-5 times a week, riding a stationary bike, I started out at 1 mile of huffing and puffing and now I do 4-5 miles a day and I'm addicted to it, I found that I have muscles where I never knew they existed before, I swim everyday I go to the gym, and I love it, I've found that when I don't go, I miss it, it feels like my day is not complete without some sort of exercise. I've lost 25 pounds and will keep posting my weight gains and losses as they come with my weekly weigh ins.
Going back to TBL, I don't really want to be on the show now, I've come to realize that they aren't really in the business of helping people as much as I thought they were, I've realized that they try to make it out as you can't be a whole and complete person and you can't make your dreams come true unless you are skinny enough to do them, I find that so sad and disheartening, I fell in love with the show and the people who were on the show because they seemed to want it so bad, now the contestants who get on the show, immediately want to know how to get an agent to promote them out, they don't want to be there to lose weight, they want to be there for their fifteen minutes of fame, not at all like the people I met while waiting in the lines at the auditions. even the season finale was awful, people who we all thought would work hard, didn't. Some even lost 10, 22 and 30% of their body weight, not at all the outcome that everyone wanted to see. There is even speculation that the at home winner, Jerry, had some sort of surgery or took weight loss pills to lose the 177 pounds that got him the win, how did this 68 year old lose so much weight while being at home, he could not do it before? So what made him do it at home this time? he only spent two weeks on the BL ranch. An the winner, Helen, she is a 48 year old selfish woman who sent her own daughter(who has been heavy her whole life) home. Helen has only been heavy for a few years and didn't want to give her young daughter who seems to have a very low self esteem a chance to get healthy. So instead, she doesn't lose that much by the end of the show. Doing it at home was not doing it for her. I feel sorry for her.
The cherry on top at the BL finale was that they had two bleach blond young girls on the show for America to vote for, as to who was going to be on next season, these girls almost looked identical and had the same stupid story about how they missed out on life being young, I was like, what?!?! you are 24 and 19, what have you missed out on??!?! They did what seemed to be fake workouts with Bob and Jillian; Jillian even pretend to sit on one of the girls lap during an exercise routine, what a sham!! They probably had spray bottles to spray them with to make them look sweaty...wouldn't want to mess up their gobs of makeup they were wearing.
It was so depressing to come to realize what the show is really promoting, not a healthy lifestyle, but that you can only be happy if you are skinny.
I'm done ranting for now.
After the rejection of TBL, I found comfort in others who had also been rejected, Christine who was on my facebook account as an acquaintance has now become such a dear friend, she has also went through the rejection of being on TBL, although, she made it farther in the process then Jen or myself did, she got a call back interview and it seemed to be the most stressful time for her just waiting to see if she was going to be picked to make it on the show, she waited and waited and waited...it was so hard when she didn't get the call to be on the show, the devastation hit hard, not only her, but all of us who had tried out and wished more then anything to make it on the show.
Since my rejection of not making it on the show, I decided that I had to take control of my own life and make my own decisions about getting healthy. I started working out 3-5 times a week, riding a stationary bike, I started out at 1 mile of huffing and puffing and now I do 4-5 miles a day and I'm addicted to it, I found that I have muscles where I never knew they existed before, I swim everyday I go to the gym, and I love it, I've found that when I don't go, I miss it, it feels like my day is not complete without some sort of exercise. I've lost 25 pounds and will keep posting my weight gains and losses as they come with my weekly weigh ins.
Going back to TBL, I don't really want to be on the show now, I've come to realize that they aren't really in the business of helping people as much as I thought they were, I've realized that they try to make it out as you can't be a whole and complete person and you can't make your dreams come true unless you are skinny enough to do them, I find that so sad and disheartening, I fell in love with the show and the people who were on the show because they seemed to want it so bad, now the contestants who get on the show, immediately want to know how to get an agent to promote them out, they don't want to be there to lose weight, they want to be there for their fifteen minutes of fame, not at all like the people I met while waiting in the lines at the auditions. even the season finale was awful, people who we all thought would work hard, didn't. Some even lost 10, 22 and 30% of their body weight, not at all the outcome that everyone wanted to see. There is even speculation that the at home winner, Jerry, had some sort of surgery or took weight loss pills to lose the 177 pounds that got him the win, how did this 68 year old lose so much weight while being at home, he could not do it before? So what made him do it at home this time? he only spent two weeks on the BL ranch. An the winner, Helen, she is a 48 year old selfish woman who sent her own daughter(who has been heavy her whole life) home. Helen has only been heavy for a few years and didn't want to give her young daughter who seems to have a very low self esteem a chance to get healthy. So instead, she doesn't lose that much by the end of the show. Doing it at home was not doing it for her. I feel sorry for her.
The cherry on top at the BL finale was that they had two bleach blond young girls on the show for America to vote for, as to who was going to be on next season, these girls almost looked identical and had the same stupid story about how they missed out on life being young, I was like, what?!?! you are 24 and 19, what have you missed out on??!?! They did what seemed to be fake workouts with Bob and Jillian; Jillian even pretend to sit on one of the girls lap during an exercise routine, what a sham!! They probably had spray bottles to spray them with to make them look sweaty...wouldn't want to mess up their gobs of makeup they were wearing.
It was so depressing to come to realize what the show is really promoting, not a healthy lifestyle, but that you can only be happy if you are skinny.
I'm done ranting for now.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
My first post...
This is the beginning of my writing about me, I've never done this before, so forgive me if I tend to babble; I do that in real life too, you should see me talking to my friends, yikes!! We can keep five different convesations going at once, confuses my husband to death, lol.
Anyways, this blog is going to be about me and my everyday struggles and the struggles of my past that still haunt me. I've been on this whole weightloss kick for a long time but have always had a hard time trying to lose weight and keep it off, I'm sure many of you out there have the same troubles. Losing weight is hard and I think that each and every one of us trying needs support! I think supportive friends and family is the key to losing and keeping the weight off.
Let me tell you a little about me, I'm a 29 year old female, I've been married slightly over a year and a half to my wonderful husband Trey,we have two dogs, Odie and Homer, and two cats, Gaby and Hermes. We both have a soft spot for animals. I've been a big girl all my life and have always hidden behind that fact; thinking I could not do lots of things because of my weight, I was always that fat kid in school that everyone picked on, however, with me being as social as I am (having never met a stranger) I had lots of friends and lots of friends to 'defend' me against those mean kids, that always felt good, knowing that I had people who cared, although, little did they know that when I went home everyday I would get a huge snack and fight off the tears remembering what those mean kids had said and called me. I always wanted to be that popular, pretty, peppy, skinny girl who all the boys loved and wanted to go out with, but I was never that, instead I was the one who went to some school dances and was a 'wall flower' and watched other people dance and have a good time, again going home and fighting off the tears of humiliation of not being asked to dance even once. I look back on that and even now, I can still feel that pain, lots of people still comment on the fat girl in the store; People are rude and some are just downright mean, I think the ones who are that mean are just so unhappy with themselves that they always have to say something mean about another person to try and relive their highschool days, in truth, they are no happier with their own lives then anyone else.
Enough about that for now, let me tell you a llittle more about me then I will be done for today. As I've already said, I'm a big woman, and I accept that, but I'm changing my life, in the past 4 weeks, I've lost 25 pounds by working hard at it, I work out at the local gym 3-5 times a week and I'm learning to change my eating habits, but I have to say that the biggest reason I've lost so much is because of the support of my family and some very dear friends. I think all people who want to lose weight need to start with getting support and knowing that you didn't put on the weight overnight and its not going to come off overnight, you have to work at it and you will lose some weeks and gain on others, just don't give up!! Listen to friends when they tell you its okay that you ate that big piece of cake, just do it in moderation.
Tomorrow I'll talk about my applying for The Biggest Loser and what a let down it ws to not get a call back.
Anyways, this blog is going to be about me and my everyday struggles and the struggles of my past that still haunt me. I've been on this whole weightloss kick for a long time but have always had a hard time trying to lose weight and keep it off, I'm sure many of you out there have the same troubles. Losing weight is hard and I think that each and every one of us trying needs support! I think supportive friends and family is the key to losing and keeping the weight off.
Let me tell you a little about me, I'm a 29 year old female, I've been married slightly over a year and a half to my wonderful husband Trey,we have two dogs, Odie and Homer, and two cats, Gaby and Hermes. We both have a soft spot for animals. I've been a big girl all my life and have always hidden behind that fact; thinking I could not do lots of things because of my weight, I was always that fat kid in school that everyone picked on, however, with me being as social as I am (having never met a stranger) I had lots of friends and lots of friends to 'defend' me against those mean kids, that always felt good, knowing that I had people who cared, although, little did they know that when I went home everyday I would get a huge snack and fight off the tears remembering what those mean kids had said and called me. I always wanted to be that popular, pretty, peppy, skinny girl who all the boys loved and wanted to go out with, but I was never that, instead I was the one who went to some school dances and was a 'wall flower' and watched other people dance and have a good time, again going home and fighting off the tears of humiliation of not being asked to dance even once. I look back on that and even now, I can still feel that pain, lots of people still comment on the fat girl in the store; People are rude and some are just downright mean, I think the ones who are that mean are just so unhappy with themselves that they always have to say something mean about another person to try and relive their highschool days, in truth, they are no happier with their own lives then anyone else.
Enough about that for now, let me tell you a llittle more about me then I will be done for today. As I've already said, I'm a big woman, and I accept that, but I'm changing my life, in the past 4 weeks, I've lost 25 pounds by working hard at it, I work out at the local gym 3-5 times a week and I'm learning to change my eating habits, but I have to say that the biggest reason I've lost so much is because of the support of my family and some very dear friends. I think all people who want to lose weight need to start with getting support and knowing that you didn't put on the weight overnight and its not going to come off overnight, you have to work at it and you will lose some weeks and gain on others, just don't give up!! Listen to friends when they tell you its okay that you ate that big piece of cake, just do it in moderation.
Tomorrow I'll talk about my applying for The Biggest Loser and what a let down it ws to not get a call back.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)